Better Than I

I was listening to this song today and had a realization of how much this song is exactly what I am going through. I have choices to make everyday of my life and sometimes I do what I want instead of asking my Heavenly Father what He would have me do. I try to tell Him how to help me. I know so little. He knows everything. He knows better than I. He knows exactly how to help me.

I feel confused. Somedays I feel like I have made the wrong choice. What would have happened if I would have just stuck it out a little longer. Somedays I feel like a failure. I feel like I gave up and let my Heavenly Father down. I am learning a lot! It is amazing how every experience I have had has helped me grow and learn things I never would have learned if I wouldn't have had those experiences. I want to put myself into my Heavenly Fathers hands. I want Him to mold me and shape me into what He would have me be. This will take alot of effort on my part. I will need to make sure that whatever I do is the Lords will for me. I owe Him bigtime for messing up big time! I am so grateful we get second chances!

Listen To the song here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwNibdCN8sQ&playnext=1&list=PL40787DFA5078502A&index=43

"I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answer
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told You how to help me
And just when I had given up
The truth is coming clear, for...
You know...Better Than I
You know...the way
I've let go...the need to know why
'Cause You know Better Than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing, I don't know
Is part of getting thru
I try to do what's best
Find faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my faith in You, for...
You know... Better Than I
You know... the way
I've let go...the need to know why
'Cause You know Better Than I

I saw one cloud, and thought it was the sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who tought them to fly
If I let You reach me...
Will You teach me? For...
You know...Better Than I
You know...the way
I've let go...the need to know why
I'll take what answers You supply
'Cause You know Better Than I"

Falling

Don't you just hate those days where you just feel like everything is falling apart? I don't know what to do. I'm trying to stay strong through all of this, I'm trying to stay happy, I'm trying to stay positive, but I am at the end of my rope. Right now I just want to cry. I want to talk to someone, anyone and just cry it all out. I feel lost. I feel torn. I feel broken. I feel alone. How do can I feel so alone when there are people all around me. Meh... I don't even know what to say. My thoughts are all scattered. I'm sure this will pass. Maybe I just need to sleep it off.

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, Other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat I could see only one set of footprints

So I said to the Lord, "you promised me, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied, "The time when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you."

I love this poem. It is always during the hardest times this poem means the most to me! It is at times like this when I am so grateful that the Lord can carry me. I wouldn't be able to make it walking on my own, or even with Him just by my side. I am glad He is willing to carry me! I don't know what I would do without the Lord. He is my best friend. He is what gives me hope to get out of bed and face each and everyday as a new beginning. I know that my Savior loves me. I want to do all that I can to show my love to Him. But I can only do that one step at a time.

"Be a first-rate version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else." ~Judy Garland

I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately. I am the type of person that looks at others and wants to be them; not just like them, but to be them. Sometimes I don't like myself. I look at who I am and don't like it. I get jealous of other people and what they have, and who they are. I feel like the person I am can't do anything right. That is why I want to be someone else. I began thinking about how much I do compare myself to others. When I begin to feel discouraged with myself, it's usually because I am looking at what someone else has, that I don't.

But I am learning that I can't be someone else. The only person I can be is me. Each and every one of us have our own gifts and talents in life that God has blessed us with. We need to spend more time thanking Him for those gifts and talents than we do comparing what we don't have to those around us.

I have my own journey through this life to learn and grow. Life can be difficult, but I think of everything I have. I am a very blessed girl! I have been born into the Gospel. I have knowledge that people are longing for, even though they may not know it. I know my Heavenly Father loves me. This love is what keeps me going. I am a daughter of a King. When I remember who I am, life is so much easier. Well, if not easier, it has so much more purpose. I want to please my Father in Heaven. The only way I can do this is by being who He has made me to be. Me. I need to be true to who I am. A Daughter of a Heavenly King

New Mission Blog!!!!

Here is my Mission Blog Address! This is where you can be updated on me, and also read my mission letters :D hope you enjoy!

http://sisterashleighsimmons.blogspot.com/

I just gotta let it all out!!!

This is just how I feel right now and I need to get it all out. I know things will get better, but for right now I feel stuck. I am just really stressed out right now and I know everyone has these feelings sometime in their life. So just disregard this post. It means nothing. It is just me venting in writing.

I HATE this feeling! I can’t stand it. I hate being down and feel like nothing is possible for me. I am feeling like I don’t belong! I am feeling inadequate. I am feeling like a failure. I hate seeing my friends sad and feeling like I am the one that caused the sadness. I feel like everyone is ignoring me. I feel like no one cares that I have problems too. That I need help too. That I struggle too. I’m not perfect! Nope! Not me! Sorry…Why can’t I just be happy all the time. My life isn’t that horrible. My life could be so much worse. I don’t appreciate my life right now. Maybe I’m scared. Scared of leaving those I love and being forgotten. Maybe I’m jealous? I dunno. What am I jealous of? I already feel forgotten and I’m still here. Why am I even here? I feel like those that do notice me, and those I turn to, get annoyed by me. Why do I even turn to those people then? I feel like everyone is too busy for me. No time for me. I am tired of trying. I am tired of doing anything. I just want to give up. Life is too hard. Helping others is too hard also. I want to help others, but don’t feel like my help is going anywhere. My head hurts. I’m tired. I give up on everyone! I GIVE UP! (at least for today)