Do What is Right!

Have you ever done something that you wish had never happened? Something that caused you to freak out inside because you didn't know what to do about it? Something that you thought if you pretended it didn't happen no one would know? 

I just had this happen to me last week. When I was in my work car I had a little fender bender. Not in my car, but my work car. I didn't notice the damage it had done until later because I just wanted to run, which is exactly what I did. No one saw what had happened so I decided to run. I didn't think a scratch was that big of a deal. Anyways, when I got to the location I was going I went to open the back door and it wouldn't open, because of the fender bender. I felt SO STUPID!!! My thoughts were going crazy.  "How could I have let this happen?" "What if I get fired!?!?" "What if I have to pay for it from my own pocket of nothing?" I called my manager and told her that the back door wouldn't open and that there was a dent in it. I told her I didn't know what had happened and that I had just noticed it. (which was obviously a lie). She told me she would look at it the next day and get it fixed. When she looked at it she called me to see what had happened. I told her that I didn't know. I was avoiding the situation. She believed me and I thought, "Yes! I am out of it! She believed me and no one get's in trouble!" I was happy, but then when I got to work and started driving the car I started to feel really uneasy. As I was driving a line from a general conference talk popped into my head. It was from Robert C. Gay's talk "What Shall a Man Give in Exchange for His Soul?" The line that popped into my head was, "Would you sell your soul for a nickel?" It was then that I thought, "Crap! I am selling my soul for a stupid fender bender. I know what I need to do. I need to tell the truth. That is all! Just tell the truth!" I was in the car for another hour contemplating how I would "confess" to my mistake and accident after I had already lied about it. I thought, "Man, it would have been so much better to have just told the truth from the start. I just make things worse by lying. But I still need to tell the truth."

When I got back to the office my manager had left for the day so I decided to send her an e-mail. I couldn't handle the feeling of guilt I had inside of me for the whole weekend. This is what I said in my email (the blanks signify names of people):

____________,

You were gone by the time I got back which is why I wrote this. As I was driving with _______ back to the office I was pondering about the car and remembered something that I thought insignificant that could be the significant. I remember that yesterday after I got _______ into the car to bring her to my moms house I left the back door open so she wouldn’t get too hot and then I went in and got ______so I could take him with me as well. Once I got _______in the car I was distracted by _______talking to me, and then _______ came out  and talked to me as well. I had shut all the doors but forgot to shut ________ door, the back door. For some reason my brain was somewhere else. When I went to back out I think the door got stuck on something. I only went an inch or so before noticing her door wasn’t shut. I got out and shut it but didn’t notice any damage. I wonder if that was the cause. So when I went to open the door at my house later is when I made it worse. I’m wondering if when the door got stuck if it shifted it just a smidge and then when I went to open it it was stuck over the front door resulting in it getting dented as I tried to open it.. Sorry I didn’t remember this earlier. I didn’t see it as being significant and my brain has been other places lately. Now I feel horrible thinking that it was probably my fault and for not remembering sooner when the door got stuck. Let me know what I can/should do.

Thanks,

Ashleigh

So, after I sent the email I felt a little bit better. But I still hadn't told the full truth. I had told more of it than before, but still not 100%. I knew that after sending this email my manager would want to talk to me on Monday. Today. When I woke up this morning I prayed that I would be able to tell the whole truth and that my manager would be understanding. I prayed that I would be able to accept whatever was to happen to me. I prayed for strength to do the right thing. 

When I went into work my manager was talking to someone else so I had to wait a half hour to talk to her. That was one of the longest half hours of my life. Anyways, We talked, I told her everything, and it all turned out just fine. I put aside my worries and did what I knew I had to do to not feel guilty anymore. I still have my job, I can still drive the car, and she was grateful that I came to her and told her everything. After leaving her office all I wanted to do was cry because of how grateful I was for the answer to my prayer for strength to do the right thing and to still have my job. I was so worried about losing my job. (But I always expect the worst to happen to me as consequences). I was also grateful for the understanding of my manager, for understanding that fender benders happen, and that it wasn't something I intentionally did. Now I don't have the guilt of lying hanging over my head. I was able to feel the power of the Atonement in my life which I am so grateful for. The Atonement doesn't just cover our sins, but it gives us strength to do what is right. The Atonement is real! I was reminded of this today.