Bestie!

Do you have anyone in your life you know will be around forever? Someone you can be yourself around, act stupid, be crazy, and not have to worry? Someone you can talk to about anything and have a non judgmental listening ear? Someone who you can plan to spend one hour with and end up spending all night together? Someone you admire and look up to?

I definitely do!! I have my Beautiful Brianna Jean Call!!! She is one of the happiest, kind, crazy, fun, caring, and loving person I know. And those are only a few of her amazing attributes that I admire. I am so lucky to have her as a part of my life from the day I was born! We are cousins, but truly soul sisters! I am pretty sure in the pre-existence we promised each other we would stick together and help each other through this life. She has definitely helped me get this far and I know she will help me from now on! I love this girl and truly feel so grateful that we could come to earth together!

Do What is Right!

Have you ever done something that you wish had never happened? Something that caused you to freak out inside because you didn't know what to do about it? Something that you thought if you pretended it didn't happen no one would know? 

I just had this happen to me last week. When I was in my work car I had a little fender bender. Not in my car, but my work car. I didn't notice the damage it had done until later because I just wanted to run, which is exactly what I did. No one saw what had happened so I decided to run. I didn't think a scratch was that big of a deal. Anyways, when I got to the location I was going I went to open the back door and it wouldn't open, because of the fender bender. I felt SO STUPID!!! My thoughts were going crazy.  "How could I have let this happen?" "What if I get fired!?!?" "What if I have to pay for it from my own pocket of nothing?" I called my manager and told her that the back door wouldn't open and that there was a dent in it. I told her I didn't know what had happened and that I had just noticed it. (which was obviously a lie). She told me she would look at it the next day and get it fixed. When she looked at it she called me to see what had happened. I told her that I didn't know. I was avoiding the situation. She believed me and I thought, "Yes! I am out of it! She believed me and no one get's in trouble!" I was happy, but then when I got to work and started driving the car I started to feel really uneasy. As I was driving a line from a general conference talk popped into my head. It was from Robert C. Gay's talk "What Shall a Man Give in Exchange for His Soul?" The line that popped into my head was, "Would you sell your soul for a nickel?" It was then that I thought, "Crap! I am selling my soul for a stupid fender bender. I know what I need to do. I need to tell the truth. That is all! Just tell the truth!" I was in the car for another hour contemplating how I would "confess" to my mistake and accident after I had already lied about it. I thought, "Man, it would have been so much better to have just told the truth from the start. I just make things worse by lying. But I still need to tell the truth."

When I got back to the office my manager had left for the day so I decided to send her an e-mail. I couldn't handle the feeling of guilt I had inside of me for the whole weekend. This is what I said in my email (the blanks signify names of people):

____________,

You were gone by the time I got back which is why I wrote this. As I was driving with _______ back to the office I was pondering about the car and remembered something that I thought insignificant that could be the significant. I remember that yesterday after I got _______ into the car to bring her to my moms house I left the back door open so she wouldn’t get too hot and then I went in and got ______so I could take him with me as well. Once I got _______in the car I was distracted by _______talking to me, and then _______ came out  and talked to me as well. I had shut all the doors but forgot to shut ________ door, the back door. For some reason my brain was somewhere else. When I went to back out I think the door got stuck on something. I only went an inch or so before noticing her door wasn’t shut. I got out and shut it but didn’t notice any damage. I wonder if that was the cause. So when I went to open the door at my house later is when I made it worse. I’m wondering if when the door got stuck if it shifted it just a smidge and then when I went to open it it was stuck over the front door resulting in it getting dented as I tried to open it.. Sorry I didn’t remember this earlier. I didn’t see it as being significant and my brain has been other places lately. Now I feel horrible thinking that it was probably my fault and for not remembering sooner when the door got stuck. Let me know what I can/should do.

Thanks,

Ashleigh

So, after I sent the email I felt a little bit better. But I still hadn't told the full truth. I had told more of it than before, but still not 100%. I knew that after sending this email my manager would want to talk to me on Monday. Today. When I woke up this morning I prayed that I would be able to tell the whole truth and that my manager would be understanding. I prayed that I would be able to accept whatever was to happen to me. I prayed for strength to do the right thing. 

When I went into work my manager was talking to someone else so I had to wait a half hour to talk to her. That was one of the longest half hours of my life. Anyways, We talked, I told her everything, and it all turned out just fine. I put aside my worries and did what I knew I had to do to not feel guilty anymore. I still have my job, I can still drive the car, and she was grateful that I came to her and told her everything. After leaving her office all I wanted to do was cry because of how grateful I was for the answer to my prayer for strength to do the right thing and to still have my job. I was so worried about losing my job. (But I always expect the worst to happen to me as consequences). I was also grateful for the understanding of my manager, for understanding that fender benders happen, and that it wasn't something I intentionally did. Now I don't have the guilt of lying hanging over my head. I was able to feel the power of the Atonement in my life which I am so grateful for. The Atonement doesn't just cover our sins, but it gives us strength to do what is right. The Atonement is real! I was reminded of this today.

Famous People

I feel very lucky to have been able to meet so many famous people in my life and have had many great experiences with them. I just want to list them for fun! Here we go from most recent to least recent.

I have met most of these people from having the opportunity to be in an amazing choir. The Latter-day Celebration Choir!!!

Just yesterday I got the amazing opportunity to record a song with a group of choir peeps for

 Lex De Azevedo. 

It was an amazing experience.

I have also had the amazing opportunity of recording two music videos with Alex Boye'

I Will Rise

And Lord Have Mercy

I have met Michael Mclean by doing the 

Forgotten Carols

And I have met Hilary Weeks, twice, 

for no special occasion.

and Emily Freeman

I don't have pictures but I have also met Brooke White, Dallyn Bayles, and Julie De Azevedo Hanks. 

Emergence of something more!

Do you ever feel small? 

I learned a very important lesson from a flower. Yup, a simple flower.

Look at this flower.  It is small. It is slowly emerging. It has beauty, but it is so much more than what you see. It is just the start of something wonderful! Something more! It will emerge into something magnificent. But it doesn't just emerge on it's own. It needs the help from something greater. The sun! As it let's the sun into it's little bud, it becomes something better.

You may feel small, but if you allow yourself to emerge, to stop holding back, to let in the light of The Son, Jesus Christ, you can emerge into something magnificent! You can grow into something more beautiful and magnificent than you would have ever expected.

It is already inside you! 

Let it out!!!

 Be Yourself! 

And enjoy being you!

Happiness

Where do you find happiness?

Where have you searched for happiness?

Well, I have searched many places for things that will make me happy and the only place I have found real and lasting happiness is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You can think you are happy outside of the Gospel, but once you lose the companionship of one who eternally loves you and will eternally be there for you, you search for happiness in other places. You end up on a long journey looking, and searching, and looking some more for happiness that will not be found unless you turn to Jesus Christ. I experienced this turning towards my Savior and Heavenly Father just today and the overwhelming feeling of Joy and Happiness I have felt and continue to feel is indescribable. I have no words. But I do know that God is there, and he wants me to be happy. He wants what is best for me. He wants to show His love but he cannot go against our agency if we are choosing to turn away from His love. Turn to Him and see what happens. Let go of bitterness, and turn towards Him. It is a wonderful experience. 

My Happy Place

You will be finding me here a lot more this summer!!! I love being outside, especially on a hot summer day in the shade. 

I hung my hanging pots in a dead tree to give it a little color!

Here are some of my BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS!!

Where do you go to get away from the world?

Thrift Store, Zen, and Beautiful-ness

I NEVER find things at the thrift store when I want them. I always go searching for something and leave disappointed! BUT, my past two trips to the thrift store have left me with treasures of endless fun!!! They were also sporadic trips with little hope for anything. A couple of weeks ago I was driving past DI and decided to stop by because I was ahead of time for where I was going. I wanted to find some tennis rackets. I go back to the outdoor area and what do I find? TWO TENNIS RACKETS!!!! and how much were they? TWO DOLLARS EACH!!!! and what else did I find? TWO TUBES OF TENNIS BALLS!!! I was so happy about this find! The rackets work great and I have had much fun with them. I have found a new joy in tennis! It is challenging, but allows me to release my stress and have fun all while getting a pretty good workout. 

My next trip to the thrift store brought me even more excitement. I wanted to create an area where I can be mindful and relax. A place where I can be real. 

A Zen Area: Zen: a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind. Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind. Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without distortion created by your own thoughts.

I wanted to make a hammock, or chair swing, or something like it to put in my Zen area. I went to the thrift store (SAVERS) to see how much a wood or wicker chair would be so that I could make a swing much like this:

Isn't it cute!!! Anyways, I looked at the chairs. I wanted to see if the thrift store had any rope I could use. I found this bag with purple and white rope all tangled up in it. I decided to open it to see how bad of a mess it was and it ended up being...... A HAMMOCK!!!! It was my lucky day! It get's better! The day I found the hammock was a half off day on many things, so the hammock ended up being only... wait for it... THREE DOLLARS!!!!! 

So I set up my hammock in my Zen area after clearing out all the weeds, leaves, spider webs, etc. I brought my flowers over and will decorate it to make it an area I want to be. 

I will post pictures when I am done with it!!!